Teachers tell bullied kids: Don't be so gay

TEACHERS allegedly told bullied children to act “less gay” if they want to end their torment.

In a damning report by Essex County Council, pupils revealed they had been accused of making themselves a target for bullies by choosing to behave or look differently.

As well as criticising their supposed sexuality, teachers reportedly told youngsters to “wear their hair differently” if they wanted to avoid trouble.

The comments have been met with outrage by anti-bullying campaigners and gay and lesbian support groups across the county.

Jordan Newell, 27, the Colchester Labour Party chairman and a member of the Labour Campaign for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Rights, said: “I am incredibly shocked at this report.

“It is incredibly stark and paints a picture that teachers are holding up their hands and not defending pupils who are expressing their difference and they are failing to defend some pretty basic principles in terms of bullying and anti-bullying.

“I think the report shows a complete lack of understanding of the issue and on how to tackle bullies.”

Actress Kierston Wareing, 33, from Leigh, recently spoke about being bullied at school. She said: “You can get bullied for anything, whether it is because you are too fat, too thin, too pretty or too ugly.

“You should be able to be your own person.

“There is no excuse for bullying and teachers should put a stop to it.”

The pupils spoke out at a meeting for more than 250 children and teachers from schools across the county, hosted by the county council, to tackle issues affecting youngsters.

As well as being accused of being insensitive by pupils, teachers also admitted they had received “very little”

training in how to deal with bullies.

A 14-year-old pupil at Chase High School in Westcliff, who did not want to be named, said: “I’ve been bullied, and the teachers didn’t do much about it.

“It’s not that they didn’t want to help. They just didn’t know how.”

A spokesman for charity Beatbullying said pupils needed support from teachers so they could be “free to be who they are”, and Jerry Glazier, Essex general secretary for the National Union of Teachers, labelled the alleged comments “inappropriate”.

The pressure young people face in coming out has been shown in EastEnders where teenager Ben Mitchell plucked up the courage to tell his dad, Phil, who reacted badly to the news.

An Essex County Council spokesperson said: “The council takes bullying very seriously and would hope all teachers are sensible in giving the right advice to pupils.

“The Young Essex Assembly held a conference to allow children to talk in an open and constructive environment about bullying within schools.

“All the information and anecdotal evidence gathered at the event will shape the work of the Young Essex Assembly.

“As a result, it is developing an anti-bullying information pack, which will be given to trainee teachers to help them cope with this serious issue.”

Comments (56)

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8:38am Wed 2 Nov 11

joeski97 says...

the teachers who have said that should be sacked for been homophobic, some people are gay and they have the right to be treated with respect! saying 'act less gay' could alienate the pupils and cause them more problems. we are who we are and don't let anyone change you :)
the teachers who have said that should be sacked for been homophobic, some people are gay and they have the right to be treated with respect! saying 'act less gay' could alienate the pupils and cause them more problems. we are who we are and don't let anyone change you :) joeski97

9:32am Wed 2 Nov 11

Dr A Grass says...

"TEACHERS allegedly told bullied children to act “less gay” if they want to end their torment." Seems a pretty fair comment to me!
"TEACHERS allegedly told bullied children to act “less gay” if they want to end their torment." Seems a pretty fair comment to me! Dr A Grass

10:02am Wed 2 Nov 11

APR says...

Dr A Grass wrote:
"TEACHERS allegedly told bullied children to act “less gay” if they want to end their torment." Seems a pretty fair comment to me!
It does to me too.

I just don't see the problem.
[quote][p][bold]Dr A Grass[/bold] wrote: "TEACHERS allegedly told bullied children to act “less gay” if they want to end their torment." Seems a pretty fair comment to me![/p][/quote]It does to me too. I just don't see the problem. APR

10:41am Wed 2 Nov 11

hayburner says...

Are you people seriously that stupid? That you don't see the problem? I'm moving to Southend from the US and this scares and shocks me. My eight year old daughter had better not be bullied because of ignorant attitudes like this.

Over here if a teacher made that comment they would be GONE.

As someone who grew up the source of jokes and bullying because I was "too quiet", and "a geek", I can tell you that it doesn't take having your head flushed down the toilet to make a person feel scared to go to school.

The parents of the kids doing the bullying are the ones who need to take responsibility for their kids' actions. They are the ones raising jerks. Teach your children to respect one another regardless of differences. I do this every day with my daughter and I hope she grows up to be a fair, kind, and open minded woman.
Are you people seriously that stupid? That you don't see the problem? I'm moving to Southend from the US and this scares and shocks me. My eight year old daughter had better not be bullied because of ignorant attitudes like this. Over here if a teacher made that comment they would be GONE. As someone who grew up the source of jokes and bullying because I was "too quiet", and "a geek", I can tell you that it doesn't take having your head flushed down the toilet to make a person feel scared to go to school. The parents of the kids doing the bullying are the ones who need to take responsibility for their kids' actions. They are the ones raising jerks. Teach your children to respect one another regardless of differences. I do this every day with my daughter and I hope she grows up to be a fair, kind, and open minded woman. hayburner

10:52am Wed 2 Nov 11

Brunning999 says...

Sensible advice why put yourself on offer amongst the crowd and then get picked on because you are different,far better to be part of the crowd and not be noticed.

However everyone has a choice thank goodness and the sensible choice if you want to avoid bullets is do not walk about with a target on your back.
Sensible advice why put yourself on offer amongst the crowd and then get picked on because you are different,far better to be part of the crowd and not be noticed. However everyone has a choice thank goodness and the sensible choice if you want to avoid bullets is do not walk about with a target on your back. Brunning999

10:55am Wed 2 Nov 11

hayburner says...

Well Brunning999 what if you are just painfully shy or not very pretty? How do you remove that "target"????
Well Brunning999 what if you are just painfully shy or not very pretty? How do you remove that "target"???? hayburner

10:59am Wed 2 Nov 11

Brunning999 says...

hayburner wrote:
Are you people seriously that stupid? That you don't see the problem? I'm moving to Southend from the US and this scares and shocks me. My eight year old daughter had better not be bullied because of ignorant attitudes like this.

Over here if a teacher made that comment they would be GONE.

As someone who grew up the source of jokes and bullying because I was "too quiet", and "a geek", I can tell you that it doesn't take having your head flushed down the toilet to make a person feel scared to go to school.

The parents of the kids doing the bullying are the ones who need to take responsibility for their kids' actions. They are the ones raising jerks. Teach your children to respect one another regardless of differences. I do this every day with my daughter and I hope she grows up to be a fair, kind, and open minded woman.
Yes and look what all the lawyers have done to the USA everyone is frightened to say or do anything thro fear of being sued, and that has now reached our country.

A good example of that in the USA is Robertsons jam a white doll on the label is no problem but a black doll caused a revolution.

My advice to you is join the Labour Party they stand for every lost cause thinkable.
[quote][p][bold]hayburner[/bold] wrote: Are you people seriously that stupid? That you don't see the problem? I'm moving to Southend from the US and this scares and shocks me. My eight year old daughter had better not be bullied because of ignorant attitudes like this. Over here if a teacher made that comment they would be GONE. As someone who grew up the source of jokes and bullying because I was "too quiet", and "a geek", I can tell you that it doesn't take having your head flushed down the toilet to make a person feel scared to go to school. The parents of the kids doing the bullying are the ones who need to take responsibility for their kids' actions. They are the ones raising jerks. Teach your children to respect one another regardless of differences. I do this every day with my daughter and I hope she grows up to be a fair, kind, and open minded woman.[/p][/quote]Yes and look what all the lawyers have done to the USA everyone is frightened to say or do anything thro fear of being sued, and that has now reached our country. A good example of that in the USA is Robertsons jam a white doll on the label is no problem but a black doll caused a revolution. My advice to you is join the Labour Party they stand for every lost cause thinkable. Brunning999

11:04am Wed 2 Nov 11

kay1991 says...

This is the most shocking thing i have read in ages, as a gay person myself it is hard enough coming out and telling people you are gay without then beng told by teachers whom are ment to help and support you to "act less gay" is unbelievable they should be tackling the bullying head on not punishing the person being bullied by being told not to be themselfes, do they not know the percentage of children who are confused about there sexuality commit suicide due to having no support and not being able to be who they are, this is compleatly ridiculous. I say be yourself and be proud of who you are no matter what you are who you are never change because of other people, you only get one life live it how you want.
This is the most shocking thing i have read in ages, as a gay person myself it is hard enough coming out and telling people you are gay without then beng told by teachers whom are ment to help and support you to "act less gay" is unbelievable they should be tackling the bullying head on not punishing the person being bullied by being told not to be themselfes, do they not know the percentage of children who are confused about there sexuality commit suicide due to having no support and not being able to be who they are, this is compleatly ridiculous. I say be yourself and be proud of who you are no matter what you are who you are never change because of other people, you only get one life live it how you want. kay1991

11:15am Wed 2 Nov 11

hayburner says...

Brunning all that needs to be done is the school needs an anti-bullying policy that can be followed. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say people in the US are afraid to say things because they are afraid of being sued. It's not an issue if your school has a no tolerance policy on this. Students guilty of bullying are spoken to and then suspended if it continues. We need to teach our children to be NICE. This is all I am saying.
Brunning all that needs to be done is the school needs an anti-bullying policy that can be followed. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say people in the US are afraid to say things because they are afraid of being sued. It's not an issue if your school has a no tolerance policy on this. Students guilty of bullying are spoken to and then suspended if it continues. We need to teach our children to be NICE. This is all I am saying. hayburner

11:16am Wed 2 Nov 11

hayburner says...

Brunning all that needs to be done is the school needs an anti-bullying policy that can be followed. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say people in the US are afraid to say things because they are afraid of being sued. It's not an issue if your school has a no tolerance policy on this. Students guilty of bullying are spoken to and then suspended if it continues. We need to teach our children to be NICE. This is all I am saying.
Brunning all that needs to be done is the school needs an anti-bullying policy that can be followed. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say people in the US are afraid to say things because they are afraid of being sued. It's not an issue if your school has a no tolerance policy on this. Students guilty of bullying are spoken to and then suspended if it continues. We need to teach our children to be NICE. This is all I am saying. hayburner

11:27am Wed 2 Nov 11

ccd says...

'gay' is a word kids use to mean naff or silly. It has nothing to do with how adults perceive it. The teacher was just using their parlance to talk to them.
'gay' is a word kids use to mean naff or silly. It has nothing to do with how adults perceive it. The teacher was just using their parlance to talk to them. ccd

11:38am Wed 2 Nov 11

jolllyboy says...

Moving to Eng - you must be mad, those I know young and old are moving out !
As for bullying, I expect some of teachers didnt say that just said dont be such a wimp. Teachers have enough teacher training days off so there is no excuse for them to not have proper training on bullying and realise that to some children a small thing is bullying whereas to others they can shake it off.
With the rate of illiteracy in our schools what do teachers do on their teacher training.
Also i find it quite shocking that some schools give homework at such a young age on the basis that they spend more time at home than at school. yes parents should be helping their children but not instead of teachers. Parents have little time of an evening to do everything as it is before a child's bedtime. Some schools spoil all holidays for the children with ridiculously long projects. no wonder some parents take their children away in term time.
Moving to Eng - you must be mad, those I know young and old are moving out ! As for bullying, I expect some of teachers didnt say that just said dont be such a wimp. Teachers have enough teacher training days off so there is no excuse for them to not have proper training on bullying and realise that to some children a small thing is bullying whereas to others they can shake it off. With the rate of illiteracy in our schools what do teachers do on their teacher training. Also i find it quite shocking that some schools give homework at such a young age on the basis that they spend more time at home than at school. yes parents should be helping their children but not instead of teachers. Parents have little time of an evening to do everything as it is before a child's bedtime. Some schools spoil all holidays for the children with ridiculously long projects. no wonder some parents take their children away in term time. jolllyboy

11:39am Wed 2 Nov 11

jolllyboy says...

Moving to Eng - you must be mad, those I know young and old are moving out !
As for bullying, I expect some of teachers didnt say that just said dont be such a wimp. Teachers have enough teacher training days off so there is no excuse for them to not have proper training on bullying and realise that to some children a small thing is bullying whereas to others they can shake it off.
With the rate of illiteracy in our schools what do teachers do on their teacher training.
Also i find it quite shocking that some schools give homework at such a young age on the basis that they spend more time at home than at school. yes parents should be helping their children but not instead of teachers. Parents have little time of an evening to do everything as it is before a child's bedtime. Some schools spoil all holidays for the children with ridiculously long projects. no wonder some parents take their children away in term time.
Moving to Eng - you must be mad, those I know young and old are moving out ! As for bullying, I expect some of teachers didnt say that just said dont be such a wimp. Teachers have enough teacher training days off so there is no excuse for them to not have proper training on bullying and realise that to some children a small thing is bullying whereas to others they can shake it off. With the rate of illiteracy in our schools what do teachers do on their teacher training. Also i find it quite shocking that some schools give homework at such a young age on the basis that they spend more time at home than at school. yes parents should be helping their children but not instead of teachers. Parents have little time of an evening to do everything as it is before a child's bedtime. Some schools spoil all holidays for the children with ridiculously long projects. no wonder some parents take their children away in term time. jolllyboy

11:43am Wed 2 Nov 11

EthanEdwards says...

hayburner wrote:
Brunning all that needs to be done is the school needs an anti-bullying policy that can be followed. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say people in the US are afraid to say things because they are afraid of being sued. It's not an issue if your school has a no tolerance policy on this. Students guilty of bullying are spoken to and then suspended if it continues. We need to teach our children to be NICE. This is all I am saying.
Your right it would be super if children were nice to each other. Unfortunately they just are not. Frequently they are cruel evil malevolent little monsters and then thay have bad days. Most are probably even worse. I suggest you read William Golding's Lord of the Flies and reflect that those little 'darlings' would be quite tame by todays standards.
It's an evil dark horrid world full of evil dark horrid children.

As for the teachers... It's good advice but couched in very un PC terms. I agree bullying is just awful but it happens. Probably better to equip a youngster with enough self confidence to just ignore it.
I know one bloke who has been a victim of bullying all his life and now has mental problems as a result. It ruined his life then and at 25 is still doing so. Let's hope a strong zero tolerance programme is set up but reality is the evil ones will always find a way round that to make someones life a misery. Thanks Facebook Twitter Bebo etc because thats another way for the evil ones to flourish!
[quote][p][bold]hayburner[/bold] wrote: Brunning all that needs to be done is the school needs an anti-bullying policy that can be followed. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say people in the US are afraid to say things because they are afraid of being sued. It's not an issue if your school has a no tolerance policy on this. Students guilty of bullying are spoken to and then suspended if it continues. We need to teach our children to be NICE. This is all I am saying.[/p][/quote]Your right it would be super if children were nice to each other. Unfortunately they just are not. Frequently they are cruel evil malevolent little monsters and then thay have bad days. Most are probably even worse. I suggest you read William Golding's Lord of the Flies and reflect that those little 'darlings' would be quite tame by todays standards. It's an evil dark horrid world full of evil dark horrid children. As for the teachers... It's good advice but couched in very un PC terms. I agree bullying is just awful but it happens. Probably better to equip a youngster with enough self confidence to just ignore it. I know one bloke who has been a victim of bullying all his life and now has mental problems as a result. It ruined his life then and at 25 is still doing so. Let's hope a strong zero tolerance programme is set up but reality is the evil ones will always find a way round that to make someones life a misery. Thanks Facebook Twitter Bebo etc because thats another way for the evil ones to flourish! EthanEdwards

11:48am Wed 2 Nov 11

TheFunkyPresident says...

There seems to be an assumption by some of the people commenting here, claiming they 'can't see the problem', that being gay is somehow a choice and that being camp or effeminate is an act, rather than a natural state.

If a child is naturally effeminate then telling them to stop being effeminate is ludicrous. It could also do untold psychological damage, telling them that it's their own fault they're being bullied when all they're doing is being themselves.

Quite clearly, it is the bullies who are at fault and it is the bullies who should be made to change their behaviour. What kind of idiot looks at a situation in which a child is being bullied, and tells the child it's their own fault instead of just punishing the bullies?

You wouldn't tell a black child who was being being racially bullied to 'stop acting so black'. Sexuality is no more a choice than skin colour. It's sad that in this supposedly enlightened age, so many still seemingly can't get their heads around that.

I have lived in Basildon since I was two years old. I'm now 23. As a teenager, I was bullied at school for being gay - and I didn't 'act gay'. I'm not the slightest bit effeminate. It simply got out at school that I was gay.

So what would these teachers have said to me? Would they have actually dealth with my bullies because I didn't 'act gay' and therefore wasn't bringing it on myself, but when dealing with a similar situation involving a camp boy, tell him it was his own fault and to stop 'acting gay'?

My bullying was intense. I was regularly pelted with stones as I walked home from school. I was spat on. My house was constantly egged. On one occasion I was egged *in school*.

Someone put a picture of someone in a wheelchair through my front door. Another time they somehow got into my back garden and left a threatening note on my back doorstep. One night, walking home from a friend's house, I was beaten up by a gang of boys, shouting homophobic insults as they attacked me, and ended up in hospital.

If I'd gone to a teacher and they'd told me it was my own fault for letting people find out I was gay, I don't think I'd ever have got over that.
There seems to be an assumption by some of the people commenting here, claiming they 'can't see the problem', that being gay is somehow a choice and that being camp or effeminate is an act, rather than a natural state. If a child is naturally effeminate then telling them to stop being effeminate is ludicrous. It could also do untold psychological damage, telling them that it's their own fault they're being bullied when all they're doing is being themselves. Quite clearly, it is the bullies who are at fault and it is the bullies who should be made to change their behaviour. What kind of idiot looks at a situation in which a child is being bullied, and tells the child it's their own fault instead of just punishing the bullies? You wouldn't tell a black child who was being being racially bullied to 'stop acting so black'. Sexuality is no more a choice than skin colour. It's sad that in this supposedly enlightened age, so many still seemingly can't get their heads around that. I have lived in Basildon since I was two years old. I'm now 23. As a teenager, I was bullied at school for being gay - and I didn't 'act gay'. I'm not the slightest bit effeminate. It simply got out at school that I was gay. So what would these teachers have said to me? Would they have actually dealth with my bullies because I didn't 'act gay' and therefore wasn't bringing it on myself, but when dealing with a similar situation involving a camp boy, tell him it was his own fault and to stop 'acting gay'? My bullying was intense. I was regularly pelted with stones as I walked home from school. I was spat on. My house was constantly egged. On one occasion I was egged *in school*. Someone put a picture of someone in a wheelchair through my front door. Another time they somehow got into my back garden and left a threatening note on my back doorstep. One night, walking home from a friend's house, I was beaten up by a gang of boys, shouting homophobic insults as they attacked me, and ended up in hospital. If I'd gone to a teacher and they'd told me it was my own fault for letting people find out I was gay, I don't think I'd ever have got over that. TheFunkyPresident

11:49am Wed 2 Nov 11

R85 says...

Hayburner you must have hit your head and lost all sanity if you want to move to the UK. OMG America is the country of desire for so many Brits (including myself) I just cannot fathom any sane person moving from the US to the UK. I have always wondered why an American would move here? I could write a library on the things I prefer in the US!
Hayburner you must have hit your head and lost all sanity if you want to move to the UK. OMG America is the country of desire for so many Brits (including myself) I just cannot fathom any sane person moving from the US to the UK. I have always wondered why an American would move here? I could write a library on the things I prefer in the US! R85

11:54am Wed 2 Nov 11

R85 says...

Hayburner u really in the USA? Your first comment at 10.41 would have been from 2.41am Pacific time to 5.41am Eastern time. Don’t you sleep?
Hayburner u really in the USA? Your first comment at 10.41 would have been from 2.41am Pacific time to 5.41am Eastern time. Don’t you sleep? R85

11:54am Wed 2 Nov 11

R85 says...

Hayburner u really in the USA? Your first comment at 10.41 would have been from 2.41am Pacific time to 5.41am Eastern time. Don’t you sleep?
Hayburner u really in the USA? Your first comment at 10.41 would have been from 2.41am Pacific time to 5.41am Eastern time. Don’t you sleep? R85

1:07pm Wed 2 Nov 11

ex-pat USA says...

R85 wrote:
Hayburner you must have hit your head and lost all sanity if you want to move to the UK. OMG America is the country of desire for so many Brits (including myself) I just cannot fathom any sane person moving from the US to the UK. I have always wondered why an American would move here? I could write a library on the things I prefer in the US!
@R85. I am a brit living in the USA, don't knock the UK, unless you have lived here you wouldn't know about the down side of everyday living, it's not so the 'land of the free' as you think. I have had conversations with people here who would love to move to the UK especially for retirement, it's much easier there than here, seniors aren't looked after here as well as they are there to start with, I could write a list of the things I prefer there than here. Sorry USA, I like it here but there are a lot of things that need improvement. As far as bullying goes, there are kids commiting suicide because they don't get help, it's sad.
[quote][p][bold]R85[/bold] wrote: Hayburner you must have hit your head and lost all sanity if you want to move to the UK. OMG America is the country of desire for so many Brits (including myself) I just cannot fathom any sane person moving from the US to the UK. I have always wondered why an American would move here? I could write a library on the things I prefer in the US![/p][/quote]@R85. I am a brit living in the USA, don't knock the UK, unless you have lived here you wouldn't know about the down side of everyday living, it's not so the 'land of the free' as you think. I have had conversations with people here who would love to move to the UK especially for retirement, it's much easier there than here, seniors aren't looked after here as well as they are there to start with, I could write a list of the things I prefer there than here. Sorry USA, I like it here but there are a lot of things that need improvement. As far as bullying goes, there are kids commiting suicide because they don't get help, it's sad. ex-pat USA

1:10pm Wed 2 Nov 11

Blind Haze says...

'Be less gay'?

They're right, there should be no gay stuff going on at school.

Unless it's a boarding school, of course.
'Be less gay'? They're right, there should be no gay stuff going on at school. Unless it's a boarding school, of course. Blind Haze

2:34pm Wed 2 Nov 11

Brunning999 says...

hayburner wrote:
Brunning all that needs to be done is the school needs an anti-bullying policy that can be followed. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say people in the US are afraid to say things because they are afraid of being sued. It's not an issue if your school has a no tolerance policy on this. Students guilty of bullying are spoken to and then suspended if it continues. We need to teach our children to be NICE. This is all I am saying.
If you are coming here please be warned a 'No tolerance' policy of any form of any description is a non starter we tolerate everything and anything here that is why we allow travellers to break the law for 10 years, anarchist to sit outside St Pauls, Tree huggers to camp on sacred burial sites for years,convicted foreign immigrants to remain in the country forever, murderers to be released after 5 years, burglars to be released on bail to offend time and time again, where do I stop, and one thing is for certain you do ot have a clue how hard it would be to introduce a zero tolerance policy WE AIN'T GOT THE BOTTLE AFTER 13 YEARS OF NEW LABOUR.

So perhaps the advice is good keep a low profile do not look or act gay which I agree is not correct but until it is okay that is good advice, the alternative is look gay get injured then go to the Police, court etc and see the thugs walk away from our pathetic courts laughing.
[quote][p][bold]hayburner[/bold] wrote: Brunning all that needs to be done is the school needs an anti-bullying policy that can be followed. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say people in the US are afraid to say things because they are afraid of being sued. It's not an issue if your school has a no tolerance policy on this. Students guilty of bullying are spoken to and then suspended if it continues. We need to teach our children to be NICE. This is all I am saying.[/p][/quote]If you are coming here please be warned a 'No tolerance' policy of any form of any description is a non starter we tolerate everything and anything here that is why we allow travellers to break the law for 10 years, anarchist to sit outside St Pauls, Tree huggers to camp on sacred burial sites for years,convicted foreign immigrants to remain in the country forever, murderers to be released after 5 years, burglars to be released on bail to offend time and time again, where do I stop, and one thing is for certain you do ot have a clue how hard it would be to introduce a zero tolerance policy WE AIN'T GOT THE BOTTLE AFTER 13 YEARS OF NEW LABOUR. So perhaps the advice is good keep a low profile do not look or act gay which I agree is not correct but until it is okay that is good advice, the alternative is look gay get injured then go to the Police, court etc and see the thugs walk away from our pathetic courts laughing. Brunning999

3:32pm Wed 2 Nov 11

R85 says...

ex-pat USA wrote:
R85 wrote: Hayburner you must have hit your head and lost all sanity if you want to move to the UK. OMG America is the country of desire for so many Brits (including myself) I just cannot fathom any sane person moving from the US to the UK. I have always wondered why an American would move here? I could write a library on the things I prefer in the US!
@R85. I am a brit living in the USA, don't knock the UK, unless you have lived here you wouldn't know about the down side of everyday living, it's not so the 'land of the free' as you think. I have had conversations with people here who would love to move to the UK especially for retirement, it's much easier there than here, seniors aren't looked after here as well as they are there to start with, I could write a list of the things I prefer there than here. Sorry USA, I like it here but there are a lot of things that need improvement. As far as bullying goes, there are kids commiting suicide because they don't get help, it's sad.
I understand what I understand what your saying and I do know about many of the negative issues concerning the USA. I’ve got family that live there and in Canada and have been over there many times. I’ve also read some books about immigrating and stayed with an American family for a month when I was younger. All in all it does seem that the USA has a lot more to offer and is a much nicer place to live…..so long as your prepared to work hard for it, have less holidays, more hours etc. You mostly seem to need a hard work ethic. I also know that there are 50 million people without health insurance! If you do work hard and have the right attitude, I cant see why it wouldn’t work though!

Also the benefit system of Britain is the reason there are so many council-estate layabouts who are happy living off their dole money! A lot of people wouldn’t have the opportunity of sponging off of the government if they lived in the US.

Over all I’m confident in saying and believing that the USA is a much, much better place to live. After all, why did you move there?
your saying
[quote][p][bold]ex-pat USA[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]R85[/bold] wrote: Hayburner you must have hit your head and lost all sanity if you want to move to the UK. OMG America is the country of desire for so many Brits (including myself) I just cannot fathom any sane person moving from the US to the UK. I have always wondered why an American would move here? I could write a library on the things I prefer in the US![/p][/quote]@R85. I am a brit living in the USA, don't knock the UK, unless you have lived here you wouldn't know about the down side of everyday living, it's not so the 'land of the free' as you think. I have had conversations with people here who would love to move to the UK especially for retirement, it's much easier there than here, seniors aren't looked after here as well as they are there to start with, I could write a list of the things I prefer there than here. Sorry USA, I like it here but there are a lot of things that need improvement. As far as bullying goes, there are kids commiting suicide because they don't get help, it's sad.[/p][/quote]I understand what I understand what your saying and I do know about many of the negative issues concerning the USA. I’ve got family that live there and in Canada and have been over there many times. I’ve also read some books about immigrating and stayed with an American family for a month when I was younger. All in all it does seem that the USA has a lot more to offer and is a much nicer place to live…..so long as your prepared to work hard for it, have less holidays, more hours etc. You mostly seem to need a hard work ethic. I also know that there are 50 million people without health insurance! If you do work hard and have the right attitude, I cant see why it wouldn’t work though! Also the benefit system of Britain is the reason there are so many council-estate layabouts who are happy living off their dole money! A lot of people wouldn’t have the opportunity of sponging off of the government if they lived in the US. Over all I’m confident in saying and believing that the USA is a much, much better place to live. After all, why did you move there? your saying R85

4:22pm Wed 2 Nov 11

R85 says...

OccupyEquality  If you were truly into equality and diversity you would respect the fact that every body has their own opinion wouldn’t you???? Surely you would even encourage people to be free-thinking and not follow the doctrines of any establishment, government or group! People should be free to air their opinions as long as it is not abusive or hurtful to anybody!
OccupyEquality  If you were truly into equality and diversity you would respect the fact that every body has their own opinion wouldn’t you???? Surely you would even encourage people to be free-thinking and not follow the doctrines of any establishment, government or group! People should be free to air their opinions as long as it is not abusive or hurtful to anybody! R85

4:24pm Wed 2 Nov 11

thiswayup says...

With regard to the person who thought the comment about it being ok to ask a child to not act so gay. I sincerly hope you never have a child with a physical or mental problem, as i presume in your world it would be their fault. As an extreme example would you really consider it exceptable to ask a black child to act more white if they were bullied because of they're skin colour.
With regard to the person who thought the comment about it being ok to ask a child to not act so gay. I sincerly hope you never have a child with a physical or mental problem, as i presume in your world it would be their fault. As an extreme example would you really consider it exceptable to ask a black child to act more white if they were bullied because of they're skin colour. thiswayup

4:50pm Wed 2 Nov 11

geezer, innit says...

if a teacher had said that when I was a schoolkid, the kid#s dad would have come up the school and bopped him on the nose
if a teacher had said that when I was a schoolkid, the kid#s dad would have come up the school and bopped him on the nose geezer, innit

4:56pm Wed 2 Nov 11

Alice in Her Own Land :P says...

Bullies are cowards and schools are cowards for not tackling the bullies and are just giving the bullies an excuse to carry on.
Every year bullying is highlighted on the tv and in the media, but is never adequately tackled.
My daughter was never bullied, neither was she a bully and I am incredibly grateful for that. I dread to think what the family of a bullied child goes through. They always say that school-days are to be looked back on as the best days of your life, but sadly for many children they aren't.
Bullies are cowards and schools are cowards for not tackling the bullies and are just giving the bullies an excuse to carry on. Every year bullying is highlighted on the tv and in the media, but is never adequately tackled. My daughter was never bullied, neither was she a bully and I am incredibly grateful for that. I dread to think what the family of a bullied child goes through. They always say that school-days are to be looked back on as the best days of your life, but sadly for many children they aren't. Alice in Her Own Land :P

6:25pm Wed 2 Nov 11

hayburner says...

My reasons for moving to the UK are personal, are unavoidable, and have nothing to do with the article. And yes, I was up around 5:15am this morning.
My reasons for moving to the UK are personal, are unavoidable, and have nothing to do with the article. And yes, I was up around 5:15am this morning. hayburner

6:56pm Wed 2 Nov 11

Steve H says...

OccupyEquality, I am gay!! I didn't get bullied at school because I didn't mince about thinking I was special and deserved special treatment. I came out when I was 19 and was sure of my sexuality, to this day I don't parade it around for everyone to see, just how I behaved when I was at school. I have a partner, we go to town together, we don't hold hands, cuddle or snog each other though, we leave that to when we have privacy, just like most hetrosexual couples. I am more offended by your comments than anything I have read, seen or heard. You should be ashamed of yourself.
OccupyEquality, I am gay!! I didn't get bullied at school because I didn't mince about thinking I was special and deserved special treatment. I came out when I was 19 and was sure of my sexuality, to this day I don't parade it around for everyone to see, just how I behaved when I was at school. I have a partner, we go to town together, we don't hold hands, cuddle or snog each other though, we leave that to when we have privacy, just like most hetrosexual couples. I am more offended by your comments than anything I have read, seen or heard. You should be ashamed of yourself. Steve H

6:57pm Wed 2 Nov 11

Steve H says...

OccupyEquality, I am gay!! I didn't get bullied at school because I didn't mince about thinking I was special and deserved special treatment. I came out when I was 19 and was sure of my sexuality, to this day I don't parade it around for everyone to see, just how I behaved when I was at school. I have a partner, we go to town together, we don't hold hands, cuddle or snog each other though, we leave that to when we have privacy, just like most hetrosexual couples. I am more offended by your comments than anything I have read, seen or heard. You should be ashamed of yourself.
OccupyEquality, I am gay!! I didn't get bullied at school because I didn't mince about thinking I was special and deserved special treatment. I came out when I was 19 and was sure of my sexuality, to this day I don't parade it around for everyone to see, just how I behaved when I was at school. I have a partner, we go to town together, we don't hold hands, cuddle or snog each other though, we leave that to when we have privacy, just like most hetrosexual couples. I am more offended by your comments than anything I have read, seen or heard. You should be ashamed of yourself. Steve H

7:22pm Wed 2 Nov 11

LoopyLou88 says...

I was bullied at school and this article just proves a-lot for me. The teachers at my school pretty much told me that I should be suspended for arguing with the bullies. After countless times of the school failing to stop the bullies I stood up for myself and for what ? To be told off.

Teachers and school governors need to take a stand and stop acting as though it is the victims fault. Bullying is wrong, No one should ever be bullied, and these sort of comments just does not help. Sack those disrespectful homophobic teachers and do it now!

Schools should be a place where students should be safe and feel safe and if students are being bullied the schools should do everything and anything they can to stop the bullying from happening. Bullies should be punished and victims of bullying given the right and correct support and responses they deserve.

Sack those disrespectful teachers. In my opinion these teachers are just as bad as the bullies!
I was bullied at school and this article just proves a-lot for me. The teachers at my school pretty much told me that I should be suspended for arguing with the bullies. After countless times of the school failing to stop the bullies I stood up for myself and for what ? To be told off. Teachers and school governors need to take a stand and stop acting as though it is the victims fault. Bullying is wrong, No one should ever be bullied, and these sort of comments just does not help. Sack those disrespectful homophobic teachers and do it now! Schools should be a place where students should be safe and feel safe and if students are being bullied the schools should do everything and anything they can to stop the bullying from happening. Bullies should be punished and victims of bullying given the right and correct support and responses they deserve. Sack those disrespectful teachers. In my opinion these teachers are just as bad as the bullies! LoopyLou88

9:26pm Wed 2 Nov 11

nowisthetime says...

Blaming the victim is nonsense. It's like saying a woman dressed too provocatively by someone's subjective standard, so she is responsible for being raped. This ignores the fact that elderly women are raped. There was nothing different about the way I acted in highschool other than the fact that I am a male who didn't have a girlfriend and showed no sexual interest in women. This was enough, the fact that they presumed me gay, was enough for me to be bullied. The fact that they are being bullied because they dress or act in a way considered gay, only suggests people are being motivated by homophobia. You fight that bigotry and exclusion everywhere it raises its ugly head. You don't re-inforce it nor make apologies and justifications for it.
Blaming the victim is nonsense. It's like saying a woman dressed too provocatively by someone's subjective standard, so she is responsible for being raped. This ignores the fact that elderly women are raped. There was nothing different about the way I acted in highschool other than the fact that I am a male who didn't have a girlfriend and showed no sexual interest in women. This was enough, the fact that they presumed me gay, was enough for me to be bullied. The fact that they are being bullied because they dress or act in a way considered gay, only suggests people are being motivated by homophobia. You fight that bigotry and exclusion everywhere it raises its ugly head. You don't re-inforce it nor make apologies and justifications for it. nowisthetime

7:51am Thu 3 Nov 11

Democrat says...

hayburner wrote:
Are you people seriously that stupid? That you don't see the problem? I'm moving to Southend from the US and this scares and shocks me. My eight year old daughter had better not be bullied because of ignorant attitudes like this.

Over here if a teacher made that comment they would be GONE.

As someone who grew up the source of jokes and bullying because I was "too quiet", and "a geek", I can tell you that it doesn't take having your head flushed down the toilet to make a person feel scared to go to school.

The parents of the kids doing the bullying are the ones who need to take responsibility for their kids' actions. They are the ones raising jerks. Teach your children to respect one another regardless of differences. I do this every day with my daughter and I hope she grows up to be a fair, kind, and open minded woman.
Fear not Hayburner - this report is arrant nonsense.

Of course in a student body of over 1500 there will always be 5 or 6 bullies but they are dealt with firmly and decisively. Peer-mentoring by the trained students themselves ensures that incidents are brought to the attention of staff, and staff constantly keep an eye out for the 'quiet' student. If the incident described had really happened, then a staff member would have reported it instantly.

Your daughter will enjoy her British education, and if my visits to a number of US schools is anything to go on, she will be valued more, safer, and have a broader education.
[quote][p][bold]hayburner[/bold] wrote: Are you people seriously that stupid? That you don't see the problem? I'm moving to Southend from the US and this scares and shocks me. My eight year old daughter had better not be bullied because of ignorant attitudes like this. Over here if a teacher made that comment they would be GONE. As someone who grew up the source of jokes and bullying because I was "too quiet", and "a geek", I can tell you that it doesn't take having your head flushed down the toilet to make a person feel scared to go to school. The parents of the kids doing the bullying are the ones who need to take responsibility for their kids' actions. They are the ones raising jerks. Teach your children to respect one another regardless of differences. I do this every day with my daughter and I hope she grows up to be a fair, kind, and open minded woman.[/p][/quote]Fear not Hayburner - this report is arrant nonsense. Of course in a student body of over 1500 there will always be 5 or 6 bullies but they are dealt with firmly and decisively. Peer-mentoring by the trained students themselves ensures that incidents are brought to the attention of staff, and staff constantly keep an eye out for the 'quiet' student. If the incident described had really happened, then a staff member would have reported it instantly. Your daughter will enjoy her British education, and if my visits to a number of US schools is anything to go on, she will be valued more, safer, and have a broader education. Democrat

7:51am Thu 3 Nov 11

Democrat says...

Fear not Hayburner - this report is arrant nonsense.

Of course in a student body of over 1500 there will always be 5 or 6 bullies but they are dealt with firmly and decisively. Peer-mentoring by the trained students themselves ensures that incidents are brought to the attention of staff, and staff constantly keep an eye out for the 'quiet' student. If the incident described had really happened, then a staff member would have reported it instantly.

Your daughter will enjoy her British education, and if my visits to a number of US schools is anything to go on, she will be valued more, safer, and have a broader education.
Fear not Hayburner - this report is arrant nonsense. Of course in a student body of over 1500 there will always be 5 or 6 bullies but they are dealt with firmly and decisively. Peer-mentoring by the trained students themselves ensures that incidents are brought to the attention of staff, and staff constantly keep an eye out for the 'quiet' student. If the incident described had really happened, then a staff member would have reported it instantly. Your daughter will enjoy her British education, and if my visits to a number of US schools is anything to go on, she will be valued more, safer, and have a broader education. Democrat

9:41am Thu 3 Nov 11

Dr A Grass says...

Has anyone ever solved the mystery of why gay men talk the way they do? It's very strange....
Has anyone ever solved the mystery of why gay men talk the way they do? It's very strange.... Dr A Grass

9:59am Thu 3 Nov 11

usaessextransplant says...

@hayburner. I am a recent transplant to Essex myself along with my husband (who's from here) and our two young children through open adoption. We moved here from the SF Bay Area, and have to say we were a bit anxious about what reception our family would receive as a same-sex couple with kids.

So far, after nearly a year, we have had really nothing but positive experiences, including at our our son's school. Unlike the Bay Area, we're the only gay family with kids (as far as we know!) in our community. We're very active in our child's school, parents groups, etc and I think being seen as so involved sets the tone for the school at least. And when questions have arisen such as family tree, in which we include our sons' birthfamily, the school proactively asked for our input.

Our son is very confident, out-going and one of the most popular students in his class. Right now, I cannot imagine him being bullied, and hope that he never is. But even if he is not, as parents, we need to teach him to speak up if he ever sees another child being bullied or mistreated. We all have a responsibility to instill values in our children that EVERY person is a miracle of God's grace in their own right and deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.

Of course, as in the States, I am sure the situation will vary greatly from school to school or even from teacher to teacher in different classes. But what I find reassuring here is that, in general, there is less tolerance of the outdated "boys will be boys" mentality, and at least on paper, there are really strict policies of addressing issues of bullying, racism, homophobia, and it just means parents need to take an active role in holding schools and teachers accountable in enforcing what amounts to treating one another with common decency.

And @SteveH...wow. I don't even know where to begin with your comment. It's just sad that you seem proud of your ability to move through the world without offending others with your identity as a gay man. My husband and I don't make it a practice to snog in public either, but nor do we pretend we're good mates out for the day with a couple of kids. As gay adults who are in a position to be ourselves, we have a moral duty to live openly to show young LGBT kids that they are not alone and that they can have a happy future, even if life may be rough for them now.
@hayburner. I am a recent transplant to Essex myself along with my husband (who's from here) and our two young children through open adoption. We moved here from the SF Bay Area, and have to say we were a bit anxious about what reception our family would receive as a same-sex couple with kids. So far, after nearly a year, we have had really nothing but positive experiences, including at our our son's school. Unlike the Bay Area, we're the only gay family with kids (as far as we know!) in our community. We're very active in our child's school, parents groups, etc and I think being seen as so involved sets the tone for the school at least. And when questions have arisen such as family tree, in which we include our sons' birthfamily, the school proactively asked for our input. Our son is very confident, out-going and one of the most popular students in his class. Right now, I cannot imagine him being bullied, and hope that he never is. But even if he is not, as parents, we need to teach him to speak up if he ever sees another child being bullied or mistreated. We all have a responsibility to instill values in our children that EVERY person is a miracle of God's grace in their own right and deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. Of course, as in the States, I am sure the situation will vary greatly from school to school or even from teacher to teacher in different classes. But what I find reassuring here is that, in general, there is less tolerance of the outdated "boys will be boys" mentality, and at least on paper, there are really strict policies of addressing issues of bullying, racism, homophobia, and it just means parents need to take an active role in holding schools and teachers accountable in enforcing what amounts to treating one another with common decency. And @SteveH...wow. I don't even know where to begin with your comment. It's just sad that you seem proud of your ability to move through the world without offending others with your identity as a gay man. My husband and I don't make it a practice to snog in public either, but nor do we pretend we're good mates out for the day with a couple of kids. As gay adults who are in a position to be ourselves, we have a moral duty to live openly to show young LGBT kids that they are not alone and that they can have a happy future, even if life may be rough for them now. usaessextransplant

1:54pm Thu 3 Nov 11

OneManOneVoice says...

Gay is in happy or the hijacked version of the word ?

Either way its a non story
Gay is in happy or the hijacked version of the word ? Either way its a non story OneManOneVoice

6:23pm Thu 3 Nov 11

Leigh Norris says...

OneManOneVoice wrote:
Gay is in happy or the hijacked version of the word ?

Either way its a non story
... don't be so gay!
[quote][p][bold]OneManOneVoice[/bold] wrote: Gay is in happy or the hijacked version of the word ? Either way its a non story[/p][/quote]... don't be so gay! Leigh Norris

7:57pm Thu 3 Nov 11

Sign of the times says...

When I was at school I never, ever saw one person who I could refer or think of as 'gay' (today's terminology) and it was single sex, run by the church!

I often wonder if all those hormones that are in the water nowadays, (recycled water) has anything to do with it, creating the changes that seem to be occurring in nature.

Only an observation, not a criticism.

When I was at junior school I recall a boy who thought it was fun to take swipes at me. It hurt and it made me look foolish.

I took this for around 2 years but I realised that the only way it would get dealt with was by me doing something.


Then one day as he was punching my arm whilst we were standing in a group, I lashed out with a punch, straight at his face, aiming for his nose.

I thought this has got to make its mark because I knew he would hit me back, which he duly did, a lot harder because I had made him look a fool.

But he never hit me again.


I'm talking 50 yrs ago. In those days you got on with what life dealt you.

Unlike today, where constant snivelling of 'he's being horrible to me' and children who are incapable, yes incapable of thinking of how they can sort out their own problems.


The playground is a leveller. It is where everyone finds their position so to speak.

Or as one Swedish author wrote 'we learned how to darn our own socks.' Today our culture is throw away because things don't matter anymore.
When I was at school I never, ever saw one person who I could refer or think of as 'gay' (today's terminology) and it was single sex, run by the church! I often wonder if all those hormones that are in the water nowadays, (recycled water) has anything to do with it, creating the changes that seem to be occurring in nature. Only an observation, not a criticism. When I was at junior school I recall a boy who thought it was fun to take swipes at me. It hurt and it made me look foolish. I took this for around 2 years but I realised that the only way it would get dealt with was by me doing something. Then one day as he was punching my arm whilst we were standing in a group, I lashed out with a punch, straight at his face, aiming for his nose. I thought this has got to make its mark because I knew he would hit me back, which he duly did, a lot harder because I had made him look a fool. But he never hit me again. I'm talking 50 yrs ago. In those days you got on with what life dealt you. Unlike today, where constant snivelling of 'he's being horrible to me' and children who are incapable, yes incapable of thinking of how they can sort out their own problems. The playground is a leveller. It is where everyone finds their position so to speak. Or as one Swedish author wrote 'we learned how to darn our own socks.' Today our culture is throw away because things don't matter anymore. Sign of the times

7:57pm Thu 3 Nov 11

Sign of the times says...

When I was at school I never, ever saw one person who I could refer or think of as 'gay' (today's terminology) and it was single sex, run by the church!

I often wonder if all those hormones that are in the water nowadays, (recycled water) has anything to do with it, creating the changes that seem to be occurring in nature.

Only an observation, not a criticism.

When I was at junior school I recall a boy who thought it was fun to take swipes at me. It hurt and it made me look foolish.

I took this for around 2 years but I realised that the only way it would get dealt with was by me doing something.


Then one day as he was punching my arm whilst we were standing in a group, I lashed out with a punch, straight at his face, aiming for his nose.

I thought this has got to make its mark because I knew he would hit me back, which he duly did, a lot harder because I had made him look a fool.

But he never hit me again.


I'm talking 50 yrs ago. In those days you got on with what life dealt you.

Unlike today, where constant snivelling of 'he's being horrible to me' and children who are incapable, yes incapable of thinking of how they can sort out their own problems.


The playground is a leveller. It is where everyone finds their position so to speak.

Or as one Swedish author wrote 'we learned how to darn our own socks.' Today our culture is throw away because things don't matter anymore.
When I was at school I never, ever saw one person who I could refer or think of as 'gay' (today's terminology) and it was single sex, run by the church! I often wonder if all those hormones that are in the water nowadays, (recycled water) has anything to do with it, creating the changes that seem to be occurring in nature. Only an observation, not a criticism. When I was at junior school I recall a boy who thought it was fun to take swipes at me. It hurt and it made me look foolish. I took this for around 2 years but I realised that the only way it would get dealt with was by me doing something. Then one day as he was punching my arm whilst we were standing in a group, I lashed out with a punch, straight at his face, aiming for his nose. I thought this has got to make its mark because I knew he would hit me back, which he duly did, a lot harder because I had made him look a fool. But he never hit me again. I'm talking 50 yrs ago. In those days you got on with what life dealt you. Unlike today, where constant snivelling of 'he's being horrible to me' and children who are incapable, yes incapable of thinking of how they can sort out their own problems. The playground is a leveller. It is where everyone finds their position so to speak. Or as one Swedish author wrote 'we learned how to darn our own socks.' Today our culture is throw away because things don't matter anymore. Sign of the times

11:18pm Thu 3 Nov 11

smiffy22 says...

Sheesh, I thought we were meant to be in the 21st century. Yet it seems that we seem to put up with the same vile, savage behavour both at school and beyond. By now, we should have learnt that the criminal, violent, and abusive types are the ones that should be made to change and put up with a harsh existence, not the innocent.
Until we crack down hard on adult scum and segregate them from the civilised, we will sadly be blessed with their children scum, and so the cycle will continue.
Sheesh, I thought we were meant to be in the 21st century. Yet it seems that we seem to put up with the same vile, savage behavour both at school and beyond. By now, we should have learnt that the criminal, violent, and abusive types are the ones that should be made to change and put up with a harsh existence, not the innocent. Until we crack down hard on adult scum and segregate them from the civilised, we will sadly be blessed with their children scum, and so the cycle will continue. smiffy22

11:26pm Thu 3 Nov 11

APR says...

Quote
"......The playground is a leveller. It is where everyone finds their position so to speak...."

So true. School is where you first realize the meaning of the phrase "pecking order".

I don't know if things have changed ?, but when I was at the Rayleigh Secondary School (many years ago, when Sweyne was a Grammar School), most of the teachers had their favourite pupils, and the ones they openly disliked. There were the usual school bullies, the swots. The head boy who everyone sucked up to when he was picking his football team in PE lessons. I doubt much has changed over the years ?
Quote "......The playground is a leveller. It is where everyone finds their position so to speak...." So true. School is where you first realize the meaning of the phrase "pecking order". I don't know if things have changed ?, but when I was at the Rayleigh Secondary School (many years ago, when Sweyne was a Grammar School), most of the teachers had their favourite pupils, and the ones they openly disliked. There were the usual school bullies, the swots. The head boy who everyone sucked up to when he was picking his football team in PE lessons. I doubt much has changed over the years ? APR

8:29am Fri 4 Nov 11

OneManOneVoice says...

Leigh Norris wrote:
OneManOneVoice wrote: Gay is in happy or the hijacked version of the word ? Either way its a non story
... don't be so gay!
Again - do you mean David Walliams style or happy ?
.
This news story is just as pointless as if I turned round to someone and said "man up" - does that mean they are not acting in a manner which befits a man and therefore indicating they are a homosexual becuase they are not acting in a manner which I define to be a man?
.
Seriously....
.
Silly news story. I am sure millions of people have encountered a situation such as a train being delayed or something not working or in any given situation and said "that's bent" "that's so gay" - its not meant as detrimental, its because if someone was to suggest something as "queer" it should mean the dictionary term, but in todays culture they would be accused of homophobia !!! (even though the term homophobia is daft as it indicate a fear of gay people as in arachnaphobia is a fear of spiders...but anyway)
.
Would the teacher be in trouble if he asked a gay student to stop being so manly ?
.
Just to confirm, before the hordes of unwashed demand I be burnt at the stake or forced to listen to Right Said Fred - I am not (and i repeat) not homophobic in any way - i just believe that inverse discrimination is just as damaging as positive discrimination.
.
Perhaps all minorities and majorities should group together to oppose the PC brigade ? Or would be classified as antibullshitaphobics and thus positively discriminating againts them?
.
World has gone mad
[quote][p][bold]Leigh Norris[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]OneManOneVoice[/bold] wrote: Gay is in happy or the hijacked version of the word ? Either way its a non story[/p][/quote]... don't be so gay![/p][/quote]Again - do you mean David Walliams style or happy ? . This news story is just as pointless as if I turned round to someone and said "man up" - does that mean they are not acting in a manner which befits a man and therefore indicating they are a homosexual becuase they are not acting in a manner which I define to be a man? . Seriously.... . Silly news story. I am sure millions of people have encountered a situation such as a train being delayed or something not working or in any given situation and said "that's bent" "that's so gay" - its not meant as detrimental, its because if someone was to suggest something as "queer" it should mean the dictionary term, but in todays culture they would be accused of homophobia !!! (even though the term homophobia is daft as it indicate a fear of gay people as in arachnaphobia is a fear of spiders...but anyway) . Would the teacher be in trouble if he asked a gay student to stop being so manly ? . Just to confirm, before the hordes of unwashed demand I be burnt at the stake or forced to listen to Right Said Fred - I am not (and i repeat) not homophobic in any way - i just believe that inverse discrimination is just as damaging as positive discrimination. . Perhaps all minorities and majorities should group together to oppose the PC brigade ? Or would be classified as antibullshitaphobics and thus positively discriminating againts them? . World has gone mad OneManOneVoice

5:01pm Fri 4 Nov 11

RobertFS says...

I am afraid I don't understand what the problem is.
This is probably because I was schooled from the mid 40's onwards. Yes, there was a bit of bullying but minimal. I got stick and so did others but that's life. Grow up.
Mind you we didn't have ingorant parents coming up to the school to complain about their poor little boys getting the slipper. My father endorsed any discipline that was meeted out to me (and rightly too). Addititionally we had no evidence of homosexual activities by any of the staff or pupils. It may have been undercover but I suppose if you want to flaunt it you must expect to get the response.
I think we spend too much time being politically correct instead of getting on with what ever life offers you.
I am afraid I don't understand what the problem is. This is probably because I was schooled from the mid 40's onwards. Yes, there was a bit of bullying but minimal. I got stick and so did others but that's life. Grow up. Mind you we didn't have ingorant parents coming up to the school to complain about their poor little boys getting the slipper. My father endorsed any discipline that was meeted out to me (and rightly too). Addititionally we had no evidence of homosexual activities by any of the staff or pupils. It may have been undercover but I suppose if you want to flaunt it you must expect to get the response. I think we spend too much time being politically correct instead of getting on with what ever life offers you. RobertFS

11:14pm Fri 4 Nov 11

jlcraig says...

This is very, very wrong. And for people to say that this/these teachers are right are also disgusting. I understand that these children can stick out from other children which can possibly lead to bulling, but it is the same as anything. Bright children stick out from other pupils, they can be bullied for this, children from different backgrounds and cultures can also be bullied. All children are different in their own ways and all children could possibly be prone to bulling. People are now asking for young ones to not act themselves in and around school. Why encourage them to be someone they are not?
This is very, very wrong. And for people to say that this/these teachers are right are also disgusting. I understand that these children can stick out from other children which can possibly lead to bulling, but it is the same as anything. Bright children stick out from other pupils, they can be bullied for this, children from different backgrounds and cultures can also be bullied. All children are different in their own ways and all children could possibly be prone to bulling. People are now asking for young ones to not act themselves in and around school. Why encourage them to be someone they are not? jlcraig

8:22am Sat 5 Nov 11

missroyalterrace says...

Erm did I really just read a comment that said maybe people are gay now because of recycled water?

OH MY GOD.

and to be sheep who said its better to remain faceless in a crowd - what terribly interesting lives you must lead.

gay kids act straight! ginger kids dye your hair! kids with glasses, get contacts! tall kids, chop your legs off! short kids...get some heels! kids with braces, have your teeth taken out and wear fake! kids with acne, wear masks! dear god, are we trying to create some freaky society of namesless faceless drones?
uerghrgr. this article and some of the comments come from sheer ignorance and homophobia and lack of understanding.

'anyone know why gay men speak like that?' Dont know, anyone know why some people are thick??
Erm did I really just read a comment that said maybe people are gay now because of recycled water? OH MY GOD. and to be sheep who said its better to remain faceless in a crowd - what terribly interesting lives you must lead. gay kids act straight! ginger kids dye your hair! kids with glasses, get contacts! tall kids, chop your legs off! short kids...get some heels! kids with braces, have your teeth taken out and wear fake! kids with acne, wear masks! dear god, are we trying to create some freaky society of namesless faceless drones? uerghrgr. this article and some of the comments come from sheer ignorance and homophobia and lack of understanding. 'anyone know why gay men speak like that?' Dont know, anyone know why some people are thick?? missroyalterrace

5:00pm Sat 5 Nov 11

paulatepc says...

Bullying should be treated in the same way as racism. Full stop.
Bullying should be treated in the same way as racism. Full stop. paulatepc

5:00pm Sat 5 Nov 11

APR says...

So how would you combat bullying ?
So how would you combat bullying ? APR

5:13pm Sat 5 Nov 11

helloo says...

This is all rubbish - gay children??? gay babies?? Nonsense. Read Romans 1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their **** one toward another;and Leviticus ch 18 and 20 - no one is born gay - it is people's sinful nature
This is all rubbish - gay children??? gay babies?? Nonsense. Read Romans 1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their **** one toward another;and Leviticus ch 18 and 20 - no one is born gay - it is people's sinful nature helloo

5:28pm Sat 5 Nov 11

paulatepc says...

I think we need to change the way bullying is regarded socially - i.e. a culture change. When I was a young racism in the workplace was accepted by employers as "to be expected". Now it is totally unacceptable.
I think we need to change the way bullying is regarded socially - i.e. a culture change. When I was a young racism in the workplace was accepted by employers as "to be expected". Now it is totally unacceptable. paulatepc

11:16am Sun 6 Nov 11

ethel the frog says...

Not a brilliant comment to make but i don't see that for one second it was homophobic - i have worked at two schools in the Southend area and the kids routinely use the word to mean stupid or boring (as in 'this book is gay'or 'this lesson is gay') sounds odd to us but its just slang to them.
Not a brilliant comment to make but i don't see that for one second it was homophobic - i have worked at two schools in the Southend area and the kids routinely use the word to mean stupid or boring (as in 'this book is gay'or 'this lesson is gay') sounds odd to us but its just slang to them. ethel the frog

12:37pm Sun 6 Nov 11

ccd says...

helloo:
Of course, the Bible must be right and science, genetics and sociology wrong. Clearly the scriptures, most of which were stolen from earlier religions and written to try and account for the unknown that early man saw all around him, must be the last word in human sexuality.
helloo: Of course, the Bible must be right and science, genetics and sociology wrong. Clearly the scriptures, most of which were stolen from earlier religions and written to try and account for the unknown that early man saw all around him, must be the last word in human sexuality. ccd

12:49pm Sun 6 Nov 11

pussycats says...

Message to "the teachers"...Don't be such ****!
Message to "the teachers"...Don't be such ****! pussycats

12:51pm Sun 6 Nov 11

pussycats says...

p***ks!
p***ks! pussycats

5:09pm Mon 7 Nov 11

Metta says...

I think we need to bear in mind two things:

1) This is an Echo report (do you believe everything you read in the papers?)

2) This is a story about specific teachers in a specific school - that doesn't mean it is representative of the views of other teachers, other schools, governors or hard working pastoral and welfare staff that work tirelessly to tackle bullying

I am saddened by the lack of compassion in kids and the relentless persecution that goes on in our schools, through modern communications technologies and on social networking sites.

When a school takes a zero-tolerance policy it doesn't mean bullying no longer happens; it means that the school staff will not simply tolerate and allow it to happen. However, if you look at the relative powers of students, parents and teachers nowadays you might begin to understand why even the best efforts of schools to socialize the kids are often fruitless.

Perhaps, in spite of our efforts at promoting tolerance and equality, we are still stuck in a 'Darwinian' social order where you have to fight to survive.

So much for civilisation.

As Ghandi remarked when asked a question about Western civilisation, "I think it would be a very good idea!"

Just stand by the school gates and observe some of the parents' behaviour and you might get an insight into the source of the kids aggression and general belligerence
I think we need to bear in mind two things: 1) This is an Echo report (do you believe everything you read in the papers?) 2) This is a story about specific teachers in a specific school - that doesn't mean it is representative of the views of other teachers, other schools, governors or hard working pastoral and welfare staff that work tirelessly to tackle bullying I am saddened by the lack of compassion in kids and the relentless persecution that goes on in our schools, through modern communications technologies and on social networking sites. When a school takes a zero-tolerance policy it doesn't mean bullying no longer happens; it means that the school staff will not simply tolerate and allow it to happen. However, if you look at the relative powers of students, parents and teachers nowadays you might begin to understand why even the best efforts of schools to socialize the kids are often fruitless. Perhaps, in spite of our efforts at promoting tolerance and equality, we are still stuck in a 'Darwinian' social order where you have to fight to survive. So much for civilisation. As Ghandi remarked when asked a question about Western civilisation, "I think it would be a very good idea!" Just stand by the school gates and observe some of the parents' behaviour and you might get an insight into the source of the kids aggression and general belligerence Metta

9:06am Sun 13 Nov 11

zaedlo says...

APR wrote:
Dr A Grass wrote:
"TEACHERS allegedly told bullied children to act “less gay” if they want to end their torment." Seems a pretty fair comment to me!
It does to me too.

I just don't see the problem.
The problem APR is that kids are bullied, have been since schooling began and we have no clue on stopping it, why not target the bully instead of the victim ? We have cameras everywhere, I'm sure they could be used to catch these mini gangsters, find them and deal with it. Dare I say, bring back discipline.
[quote][p][bold]APR[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Dr A Grass[/bold] wrote: "TEACHERS allegedly told bullied children to act “less gay” if they want to end their torment." Seems a pretty fair comment to me![/p][/quote]It does to me too. I just don't see the problem.[/p][/quote]The problem APR is that kids are bullied, have been since schooling began and we have no clue on stopping it, why not target the bully instead of the victim ? We have cameras everywhere, I'm sure they could be used to catch these mini gangsters, find them and deal with it. Dare I say, bring back discipline. zaedlo

9:21am Sun 13 Nov 11

zaedlo says...

Hayburner, I lived in the States for a few years and know they have a bullying problem too but overall found young Americans far more polite and respectful.
Hayburner, I lived in the States for a few years and know they have a bullying problem too but overall found young Americans far more polite and respectful. zaedlo

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